Last week I did a set at RiRa's in Arlington. I had a good set. I tried three new jokes which need work. It was cool to see some of the comics that I hadn't seen in a while. John McBride, Hampton and Andy Haynes all performed. They have gotten really good. The crowd didn't give Andy what he deserved, but he has some really good jokes. I don't know if it's new, but he told one about hearing warnings as a kid that marijuana was ''laced'' with other drugs that is hilarious.
Anyway, I am bringing up this open mic because I am annoyed with the behavior of the comic that went on right before me. He will remain nameless, but if has an issue with anything I'm writing I am more than willing to discuss any of this with him man-to-man.
I have said this a million times, but if you are a comic...doing a bar...for free...in front of 40 people...on a Wednesday night, you are entitled to nothing... nothing at all. If you are a veteran you are doing this show for only one reason; to work out new material. There is no other reason to take stage time from others who have taken the time to write new jokes.
This comic was slated to go third. When the show started he had yet to arrive so Jenn Wardrop, who runs the room, asked the other comics to extend their time so the audience would get a quality show. We all agreed, no problem. Three minutes before I was about to take the stage in walks Mr. Hollywood. He walks right up on stage. Does a crisp 20. Goes 4 minutes into the red light (the light that tells you your time is up) and ends his set by saying, ''I didn't really get to try any new jokes. Is there anything you guys want to talk about?''
Really? You have that little self-awareness? First off, you are nobody. Just like we all are nobodies. If we were somebodies we could work out our new jokes at the DC Improv after the headliner on Saturday night. But we're not, so we need to sit in a restaurant attic waiting for our name to be called. I wrote new jokes, I showed up on time, I didn't go over my time and I talked to the other comics. If you didn't go 3 for 4 in the above criteria, don't do that. If you go 2 for 4, you are a dick.
Hampton has a girlfriend. He made sure he worked that into our conversation. It was awkwardly mentioned and that made me laugh. It was something like:
Me: Hey Bro, how have you been?
Hampton: Good. You're back doing standup?
Me: Yeah, I'll be trying to get back on stage a couple of times a week.
Hampton: That reminds me of something my girlfriend said. You know I'm dating Aparna. She's a girl. We date.
Me: Oh what did she say?
Hampton: What did who say?
Me: Uh, what were we talking about?
Hampton: So you're back doing standup?
It was probably even more awkward than that.
After the show I went over to Wiseacres. There was a comic that I had never seen before, but had heard he is there regularly. At the end of his set he said something off-the-wall and offensive with no intention of getting a laugh. He walked up to another comic afterward and said something to the effect of: