8-28 ''Randomness involving Jon Kitna and Amazing hair.''

Hair piece:

I have a lot of hair. Some of you might disagree, but I've had the same hairline since college. I turn 40 this year. If you ask anyone who knew me in 1989 they would swear I would have been bald by now. I'm not, I just have a giant forehead. So comparatively, I'm doing quite well. I shouldn't really talk about it for fear of jinxing it.

Here's the thing: it is true that I thought I would be bald, but I was also pretty confident that they would have found a cure for baldness by now. Honestly, I can't believe we can't make hair grow, but we can clone someone. That's right, they can make another Joe Robinson if they want, but they can't make the new Joe grow hair. Don't you find that mind-blowing? They can make a brain, but they can't make the brain's house hairy?


Meet the press, they suck:

Last Friday Barack Obama chose his running mate, Senator Joe Biden from Delaware. I was watching the news the morning of the announcement and the man who was ''reporting'' on this mentioned that Obama informed his supporters via text. The man ''reporting'' also mentioned that HE received his text that morning.

Ugh. Please tell me people understand why this is a problem. This is Journalism 101. Yes, I sleep with a journalist, but I'm pretty sure I knew in the 6th grade that a reporter's job is to report the news. We are not supposed to know his political lean. When we do, we can't trust what we hear. This is a building block of this country. It is the very first amendment in our constitution. If you are going to explain to me that Fox does the same thing, but in the other direction, I know. It's wrong whoever is doing it.

Bryiam's great team, and other fantasies:

My friends and I had our fantasy football draft this weekend. It's a 12-team league and we've been doing this for over a decade. My friend Bryiam is one of the worst fantasy football players in the world. There is really nothing wrong with being bad at a fantasy sport, but not if you are dedicating 5 hours nightly to research. Bryiam had the ''wraparound'' pick which meant he was picking 12th, but also had the first pick in the second round (13th). With the 12th pick he took Marshawn Lynch. Now, truthfully, that is not a horrible pick.

Lynch is a top back and it's not like he left Ladainian Tomlinson on the board. Arguments could legitimately be made on him being the best available back. However, he left Larry Johnson on the board. Again, not horrible, but I prefer Johnson over Lynch. When I told this to Bryiam, he fake laughed for about 40 seconds (there were many eyewitnesses), he told me that there were no magazines in existence that ranked Johnson over Lynch. My friend, Le Gare, immediately picked up the fantasy magazine right next to him and it had Johnson 4 spots ahead of Lynch. Here's the rub:

It was Bryiam's magazine, the same one that he had been marking and scratching over the past three hours.

In addition, Bryiam's STARTING quarterback is Jon Kitna. That's correct...Jon Kitna. The same man who turned the ball over 26 times last year. The same quarterback who threw more INTs than TDs and that is for a team that's drafted a WR in the first round of the last 10 NFL drafts (exaggeration for effect). He will be starting for Bryiam. Now, sometimes during a draft you have to sacrifice a position. I understand this. I am not happy with my 3rd-5th receivers and my back up RB's, but I don't defend them. They are not my children. They don't even know they are on my team. You would swear Bryiam is Kitna's BFF the way he defended his selection. Apparently QBs who have thrown 42 INTs over the past two seasons and fumbled 28 times (those are real numbers, no exaggerations) get better when they are nearing 40.

Trivia: out of Kitna's 12 NFL seasons how many times did he throw more TDs than INTs?

Answer: THREE
The last time was in 2004, when he started 3 games from the Bengals. He threw 5 TDs and 4 INTs

Who are you to judge us?

The Americans won 110 medals at this year's Olympics. Thirty-six of those were gold. The Chinese won 100 medals, of which 51 were gold. I'm not a sour grapes guy, but it's worth noting that in the events that are ''judged'' the USA won 4 medals and the Chinese won...27! Am I saying that these medals aren't deserved? I have no idea. Most or all of them may be; but it's also worth mentioning that in the ''non-judged'' events we out-golded them 32 to 24.

What's the point? Well, Mickey Cucchiella and I had a discussion the other day about the most ''hated'' country in the world. He said it is a ''fact'' that it is Israel. I thought it was the USA. He may be right, even though you can't measure ''hate'' (Mickey explained that you could, through some giant hate matrix). Either way, we're not too popular. I'm sure the Chinese are better than we are at synchronized diving, but there is no doubt that we are the Duke Blue Devils of the world. Many love us; many despise us. (I hate using this comparison because I fucking hate Duke.) Those who hate Duke hate their success and their arrogance. That doesn't prevent them from being college basketball's best program.

How do you feel about this? I know many of you are very concerned about how we are perceived around the globe. I have bad news for everyone who wants Europe to run this country. We will NEVER be loved and we will NEVER be admired. Some people think that comes from our greed, some think it comes from our power, some don't agree (you're wrong), etc. It doesn't matter why. We can't let the world dictate what we do. I don't care what Frenchie, 6000 miles away, thinks about our foreign policy. I do care what you think......uh, actually, I don't. I'm just kidding I do
(I don't).