9-19 ''MySpace, MyBalls''

One of my MySpace friends posted a bulletin today that said, ''I Want Sex''. Of course this bulletin was not about wanting sex. It was about voodoo. Apparently this bulletin was cursed. It told me that had to repost one of the following:

''I'm a lesbian''
''Just to settle all the rumors...yes I am pregnant''
''I'm getting married!''
''My dad got the job!...I'm moving to Japan!''
''Guess who i kissed last night!''
''I guess it was never meant to be''
''I'm gonna be a daddy!''
''I'm moving back!!!!!''
''I'm moving!!!''
''I miss her''
''I miss him'''
''I'm gonna be a daddy!''
''I want SEX''
'''I got married last night!!!''

It said if I didn't, that I would have bad luck for 2 years.

I didn't repost, but I don't mind getting these. It's worth 2 years of bad luck to have this whole ''Who controls the Universe?'' question answered. Apparently it's MySpace.

But who controls MySpace?

While we're on the subject, can people be more discriminatory about what they find bulletin-worthy? If you are having a party, updated your blog, are a performer appearing somewhere, etc. Then please, post a bulletin. However, if you are hungry, have a racist joke, have a chain letter, want me to join your fake mafia, etc. Then don't. I guess it's arrogant enough that I will make sure that 500+ people know that I wrote this. However, letting these same 500 know that I'm back at my desk and I'm tired, may be a tad narcissistic.

I will admit that I like reading the surveys, but I have no idea why. The information is of absolutely no use to me and 90% of the time I've never met the person who posted the survey. I have 518 MySpace friends and when they post a survey, I read it.

Angela has fallen in public...

Shanna's favorite color is blue...

Sexy Back isn't waiting for a phone call right now...

I'm not sure what to do with this information.

Of the 518 friends, there are about 10 of them who fill out a survey daily. One of my friends often refers to it as a ''surgay''. I think I know what that means. I know that many people use the term ''gay'' as a synonym for something that is not cool.

If someone were to say, ''That song is totally gay'', they probably mean it is either:

A. a ballad (''Wind Beneath My Wings is totally gay'')

B. by some Teen group/artist (''The Jonas Brothers? They are totally gay'')

C. a gimmick song (''The Macarena is totally gay'')

D. about people of the same sex having intercourse (''That song is by Morrisey'')

I'm not justifying it, I'm just explaining it. Bryson Turner has a joke about ordering a salad and that act being called ''gay''. It's the same principle. Anyway (that explanation was too long), what's ironic is that the person filling out the ''surgay'' is in the top 3 most frequent posters of surveys. What I love about her surveys is that she takes the time to fill them out, but then gets annoyed as the survey progresses. This anger is reflected in her responses.

What are you doing right now? Filling out this survey

How many people do you think will complete this survey and post it? Who gives a shit?

Where did you go on vacation last? I hate you

I guess she does not realize that she is not required to fill this out.

I have another friend (MySpace friend) who probably fills out 10 surveys a day. She is a common friend of Rob Maher and I. Rob and I often discuss that she will give the most graphic details of what she likes sexually, but then won't disclose information on life's most mundane activities:

What is your favorite sexual position? Probably reverse cowgirl

What did you have for breakfast this morning? Nunya

How many abortions have you had? It will be 4 tomorrow

What kind of car do you drive? I'll never tell

I performed at the Hyatt on Saturday and had a blast. I'm there again this Saturday and plan on doing the exact same thing. I also did a one year anniversary show for ''Irresponsible Radio'', even though it no longer exists. The 17th would have marked one year. We had a great time, Danny Rouhier was hilarious and I miss our show. That's all I have to say on that subject.