I understand that sometimes people are expecting a specific reaction from someone. I do it all the time, but never, ever have I reacted to what I thought they were going to say instead of what was actually taking place. If you go to this open mic and you see a granola douche with a beard and no mustache, do not talk to him. He doesn't understand words. Also, if you see a tall Gortex sporting guy who looks like a Wendy's manager, do not talk to him. He doesn't understand words either and you might go to jail.

Now let me tell you what got me banned. There was a guy there who was running around before the show being very boisterous and loud. During the show he would comment during other's sets and stood directly in the middle of the room in front of half of the audience. He had long curly hair, tight black jeans, a bandana around his neck and was wearing a black Michael Jackson jacket.

Now, like any responsible comic I made fun of him and his attire. Nothing particularly groundbreaking. I think I asked if he had a time machine, made some 'Beat It' references and did an impersonation of him getting dressed for the day (''Hmmmm, I never want to get laid. What should I wear?'').

Here's what I find interesting, after I made fun of him he yelled at me, ''You're dressed like a child molester!''

I had on a white button up shirt and jeans.

Now if you've seen me, I have a giant forehead, receding hairline, I have poor posture, a weak chin, I wear glasses, I have hair growing out of my ears, I have a pot belly, I walk slightly pigeon-toed...

I could go on. It's not my fault that this guy didn't have a good comeback. I certainly didn't deserve to be banned because of it.

Anyway, I would recommend this open mic. Up until the preceding dialogue I had a great time. Please don't let my experience stop you from heading over to College Perk. I drink Dunkin Donuts anyway. Large cream and sugar bitch!

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