6-3 ''Cryptic Blog''

Those of you who have seen my schedule know that I have one more set of shows (July 5th - 8th) until I am on 'hiatus'. There is another opportunity that I have been given to which I have said 'yes'. It will occupy my time every weekday night leaving only Saturday and Sunday free. I will need to spend that time with my family.

I love standup. It is my passion. It has kept me sane and driven me to change the direction of my life (wow, that sounds pretty dramatic and self-indulgent, but it's true). I will miss it incredibly. I hope this is temporary, but my commitment is open-ended so I am not sure.

I am still running the Funniest person in Baltimore contest, but depending on the start of my other endeavor, it will most likely be hosted by someone else. I remain the organizer, so if you want to participate you still need to talk to me.

The announcement for the FPIB was put on DCstandup 4 days ago and since then more than 20 comics that I've never heard of have asked to participate. It's only been 4 days so I'm sure that number will grow exponentially. I've discussed several times here why people want to do standup. I've also talked about why people refuse to quit.

I've learned some things, however, over the last 3+ years about how to accelerate in local comedy. I'm guessing that if you asked other seasoned locals they would agree with the following:

  • Be funny. There is no substitute for this. If you are given an opportunity you MUST deliver. That is the surest way to advance.
  • Don't feel entitled. You are entitled to nothing. There is a 40 minute drive between the two biggest clubs in this area and there are comics that MC at one and headline at the other. No matter who you are you have to pay dues and the surest way out of a club's favor is to make demands. If you are booked as an MC then the best thing you can do is outperform the feature. If you are the feature, out perform the Headliner. Club managers see hundreds of funny people filter through their doors. If you are difficult, you will distinguish yourself in a way that you don't want.
  • Be nice to everyone in the club. Do this is for several reasons. First, it's a good rule to live by in general. Secondly, road comics will tell you hundreds of stories where they went back to a club and a waitress or bartender was now booking. Third, if you are going to spend time there you want it to be enjoyable. When you are Emceeing at the Comedy factory you are there for over 10 hours on Friday and Saturday combined. You are on stage for 1 of those hours and the other 9 you will spend trying to occupy yourself. It's easier when you know and care about the people at the club.
  • Be professional. Show up early, do your time (that also means not going over), don't get drunk (unless you're Rob Maher), prepare for your set, do the announcements without being reminded, etc.

  • Make REAL friendships. I don't know if I will be able to explain this correctly. I have local comics who I consider friends. I see them socially and talk to them regularly. I expect nothing from them other than their friendship. However, these friends are responsible for the majority of my success. They have opened the doors for me I would have not been able to open on my own.
  • Don't badmouth other comics. I'll start by saying I don't follow this rule, but I recognize it as a horrible character flaw. Comedy is extremely competitive. When people you feel aren't as funny as you have success, there is instant resentment. It's natural. Also, you cannot be a successful standup without having an ego. Putting comics in the pecking order seems to be innate. Fight the urge to do this. Fight the urge to lash out against others having success. It is not a personal affront to you.
  • Help other comics.
  • Get on stage as often as possible.
  • Write your own material.
  • Don't hang on too long.

Here's the thing. If you do everything above, you are guaranteed nothing. You will make a name for yourself locally. You will probably find a stage to step on every weekend, but again you're a 100:1 underdog to make it a career.

Good luck.

Justin Schlegel is going to fight someone in about a year. You may want to check out his June 1st blog:

Justin will tell you that I am the first to shoot holes in someone's dreams, but I am all for this. What's the worst case scenario? He trains for a year, gets in incredible shape, becomes a ridiculous badass and then gets his ass beat. Bruises heal. Bones re-fuse. Tendons can be surgically repaired. Wouldn't it be cool if he won? Either way, there is no place on this globe I won't drive, fly, boat, etc. in order to support my boy. Good luck! I can't fucking wait.

I played poker this weekend with my friends for the first time in several months. I missed them and I missed the extra income. I was incredibly rusty. I made two horrible plays I would normally never make. I also made one very good play. Other than that I just played my hands and ended up about $200.


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